kid.

•April 9, 2010 • 1 Comment

Me nd my one friend went to fabindia, a retailer garment shop yesterday. Nd that was the most amazing “shop” i have ever been to. In  kowdiar, the shop is set in the old house of  Mohanlal, yes, the actor. The place has been embellished fabulously, the appearance of a house well retained, nd the garments pretty impressive. We had a lot of try outs, we tried all the shit we cud get our hands on. Nd we ended up buying two kurtas for me nd one for her. That was the first time i actually tried on a kurta, nd surprisingly i wasnt much disappointed 😀 . With seconding assurance from her i even think i lukd pretty impressive in it.

Yeah, so after spending almost more than an hour der, we were going to bill the stuff we bought. On our way, a little girl, shud be of 6 yrs or so, was seen standing in front of us. I pointed my fingers in the shape of a gun nd did a “bishkaaun!” at her. The next thing i see is her running away shouting for her mom. In give minutes we saw her again, now with her mom. now she started hiding behind her mother, nd when she pointed at us, i told the lady abt the gunshot nd she started  smiling. We asked the kid her name, where she studied nd in which class. Ammu, 1st standard, trivandrum international skul.

After that, my friend was paying the bill, nd i was checking out sum stuff there nearby. This kid, cums wrapping herself in shawls nd sarees, nd cums shows them to me, apparently epecting me to comment, which i did. This went on four to five times. Then she cums near me, nd stands a feet away from me. She drags her sandals, very slowly nd staring at me while doing so, nd slowly touches my sandals. Nd then she slowly takes up her fingers to try nd touch my hand, seemingly scared, but she touches them nd hastily takes her hand away. then she again tries touching my jeans, real slow. My friend is standing there nd watching as all this is happening. Then she again touches my hand, tardily again. Nd just as she did, she runs away shouting “MONSTER MONSTER”  😐

?

•March 18, 2010 • 1 Comment

Simple justification given by atheists for the belief they hold, is that the presence is not yet convincing. Proof, or the lack of it, doesnt convince ppl to change the steadfast believes they have held so altogether. Telescope was seen to be the devils eye to lead man to ignorance, nd now huger nd powerful eyes of the devil are being made, used nd even sent to other planets to spread evil. This post is not about telescopes or science. This is just what i think of religion.

It wud be clear, on careful observation that each religion is different from the other only on the way they deduce the vision of death nd that which follows. Hindus treat birth nd death as a cycle, going on for lives, in which the price of a deed or “karma” is paid, in this, or either the next birth, and until it is done, the cycle goes on. The christians find the meaning of death in Judgement day, where the verdict is either heaven or hell. Islam is sumwhat similar, “The last hour”, the equivalent of judgement day, is followed by resurrection. But all religions emphasize on the Good nd bad nd the consequences that follow.

Most religions have teachings which are definitely concoctions of divine enlightenment. The ways they are interpreted made them, in the long run, what they are today. Budhism cud be termed modern in this sphere, as Buddha never Stressed on imbibing his teachings blindly. To him, one is a judge of oneself, principles are doctrines of life, nd to choose the principle is the man’s own discretion. A man is free to choose what he believes in, but he just has to remember the aftermath does follow.

Nd buddhism takes it a step further in succession of The Lama. Unlike most other religions or culture, the successor is never the son or the close associate of the ex-preeminent. The next lama is chosen, way before, by prophecies. But this, is actually simply the way to make sure that the power doesnt go into the hands of the ignorant nd the spurious. The successor, by the time he has to mount the acme, is well aware nd known of the power he has in hand, how he has to put it in use, nd how he has to ground himself.

And about the existence of the almighty, or the non-existence of the same, nothing came up without an initiation. There was a source, nd there still is sumthing that drives the clock in rounds. There is a time before time, nd theres no concept of “the beginning of time”. All this, was started off, by sumthing, an energy, that still keeps things going. Birth, death, growth, decay are all driven nd not spontaneous. The existence of “this”, the energy or god or power or whatever u define it as, is not to be shadowed in doubt. It is der. whatever it is.

But, the god cudve been much better than this. He made it, he cud have done it better. The grief nd sorrow, sadism, money, provocation, hunger all cud’ve been not so omnipresent. But, things shudnt be too easy, shud they? If  life has been not so “realistic”, this blog wud never be there, neither the computer, nor the clothes u r wearing now. It wud just have been birth, growth, sex, procreation, death. How interesting is that…I know what u are thinking now. 😛

Thought for the day. or more.

•March 18, 2010 • 1 Comment

This might offend ppl. But still i wondered.

I am not christian, nd i have no idea what christianity says about the origin of man. But is sure do know that the first man, according to myths nd suppositions, is named “ADAM”, nd the first women, created from the man’s rib itself, was named “EVE”. Hmmm..obviously they copulated, nd were born children. Quite natural.

Now, How did the rest of the clan follow? There were no other females except der own sisters to bear the progeny.

The Fart Chronicles.

•March 12, 2010 • 4 Comments

here is the oxford dictionary definition of fart:

“Fart is a dischrage of wind from the anus”.

A more accurate definiton says:

“An often audible discharge of intestinal gas”.

The OED defines the transitive verb form of fart:

“To send forth as wind from the anus 1632.”

We are all much obsessed with Farts. We all have frequent occurences of the holy “Aasana-nishvaasam”, where u either try controlling, succesful desistance if lucky, esp if u r in a company of one or two ppl, or u happily give it a vent, nd smiling happily as its pumped out. There is this awesome theory, rather a song, which is a malayali creation i am most proud of, which efficiently describes the relation of a fart’s smell with the sound it produces. It goes like this.

” BHUM BHUM PARIMALAKAANTHI,

PEE PEE ENNATHU MADHYAMAM,

KASHA PISHA MAHAAA KASHTAM,

NISHABDAM, PRAAAAANA SANKADAM!!!!”

( BHUM BHUM= Fragrance,

PEE PEE= Medial,

KASHA PISHA= Tribulation,

Silent=  Heart Wrenching!  )

This is a site which houses the most  cliched nd non-cliched  Fart sounds:

http://www.dotfart.com/farting_noises.php

The Oxford English Dictionary , in its inimitable way, notes that the word “fart” is “not in decent use. “My sister thinks the use of  “vali”, is indecent, so i plan to call it “Aasana-Nishvaasam” at home, Though vali is better anyday. nd it wud suffice pretty well here. THe more u try to curb it, usually the more sound nd insult it results. Nd to fart without being noticed is a craft that u can attain only wid persistant practice nd talent. To make-believe that u r not the culprit is yet another skill of deception. Farts if made a social acknowledgement gesture wud welcome more people to come forward nd exhibit their amazing capabilities in this field. Indians wud do pretty well, Burping is our national sport, this cud get us gold in olympics again. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health, as it supposedly was harmful to retain the eruption. Or that ur stomach cud burst out of excess pressure due to witheld gas.

Flatulence, or “The presence of excessive gas in the digestive tract”, is the sole nd primary reason for untimely, often audible, fragrance bursts.

The odour of flatulence comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulphide gas nd mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulphur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole nd indole also add to the stench of flatulence. The more sulphur-rich ur diet, the more sulphides nd mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in ur guts, nd the more ur flatulence will stink.

Foods such as cauliflower nd eggs are notorious for producing smelly flatulence, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky flatulence. I cudnt find the details abt Pizzas nd shawarma though.

ND DID U KNOW!!??

Dat stinky flatulence are generally warmer than regular flatulence??!!!!

So it is. Most flatulence gas comes from swallowed air nd consists largely of nitrogen nd carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odourless, although they often pick up other, nd more odiferous, components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous flatulence, but they are commonly (but not always! :-P) mundane with respect to odour, nd don’t feel particularly warm.

Does ny one of my fellow readers think nd believe that they have a flatulence count of less than 5 a day?? Then i suggest you go see a doctor, u might even die of  Brain tumour within 10 days. The WORLD MEDICAL COUNCIL says, on average, a person produces about half a litre of flatulence gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily flatulence. Nd this activity can most certainly happen while u sleep also, how magical.

Nd about the speed by which flatulence gas spreads depends on pretty interesting facts. Flatulence travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature nd wind speed nd direction, the molecular weight of the flatulence particles, nd the distance between the flatulence transmitter nd the flatulence receiver. [:o]. So the next time u fart nd wanna blame sumone else for the smell by frowning or mocking them, before you make the accusation, take an effort to find the wind speed nd humidity nd other checks, especially the MOLECULAR WEIGHT OF THE FLATULENCE PARTICLES. Or you might just end up talking abt it much before the glorious effort reaches the nose of ur companions. People even flatulate shortly after death.

Nd on the prospectus time of usual vali, an ordinary gentleman is mostly likely to flatulate first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as “morning thunder,” nd if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household. Now that we know it, we better check our toilets for unwanted reverb or resonance.

How often have you held in a flatulation, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the flatulence has disappeared when you are ready for it? Nd flatulence is not an apparition, it is flatulence, it doesnt just “Disappear”. Be aware that flatulence is not really lost, it is just delayed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine nd comes out later, supposedly.

Nd it is possible to ignite ur fart. Farts burn because they contain usually  methane nd hydrogen, both of which are flammable fart gases. So dnt fart when sumone is smoking near u. Nd it cud be the perpetual source of fuel in the coming generations. We wud probably have fart tanks, with pressurized farts. Nd u might even have to pay for a tank, if u are into family planning much.

This arbit shit thanks the internet for the wide knowledge provided. Nd im happy i cud help.

AA…New Ride.

•March 9, 2010 • 2 Comments

After a period of worthy wait, the new ride is at hand. A balck pulsar 220, pulsar yes, i was not much pulsar man as the engines start sucking, literally nd otherwise, after almost a year. But this is a beauty nd awesome piece of engineering, so i bought. Nd i love it. I wud even whack my ride, its headlight turns me on. No, i am not a pervert. So, that was my ride story.

GLIBLIGLIBLIGLI.

•March 9, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Hmmm. I thought this shud keep it alive. This blog has been dead for ages.

Rock.

•February 24, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Have been fascinated by the idea of “our own band”. But not nymore. I myeself have been a man who hates much commitment to nything. I had to go for practice, do stuff i dint want to, nd act like i liked them much. Now, when the other bandmates have gotten the general idea, they disbanded the band that was so new that we just had one jam session. Nd i am so happy nd free. Planning to take piano lessons, for how long i dnt knw nd i dnt give a fuck either. But i need to go for piano lessons.